There are few life experiences more painful than the breakup of a long-term relationship. Although there is no way to completely avoid the sadness that accompanies a failed romance, aligning with a spiritual system can help you with the transformations of your pain and help you find the perspective to move on.
Try prayer. Whether you pray to the god you worshiped in church during your childhood or choose instead to think of it as communicating with your higher self, research has shown that having a conversation with a power greater than you has many healing benefits.
Engage in meditation and visualization. Reduced to its simplest terms, meditation involves emptying the mind of thoughts while following the pattern of breath. It’s easier said than done, but the benefits range from lower blood pressure to enhanced overall mental health. By meditating, you can both curb the stress of a breakup and open your mind to a greater understanding of why the breakup occurred. Visualization, a more specifically directed form of meditation, takes it a step further. Many experts offer creative visualization exercises for overcoming a breakup. For example, you can visualize cords connecting you with your former partner, and then picture yourself gently cutting the cords.
Consult a spiritual adviser. Sometimes we need the help that only an expert can provide to process painful life events. The form this expertise takes varies according to your personal beliefs. You may seek counseling from a clergy member, or at another end of the spectrum, you can contact a reputable psychic. Always consider the source, and be appropriately skeptical of the advice. But you never know who will offer the exact right words at the right time.
Conduct rituals. Your impulse to cleanse your environment of all traces of your former partner is a good one; it can be cathartic to engage in tangible closure activities. For example, round up all the gifts your ex gave you and put them in a box in a remote corner of the attic. Or, more dramatically, throw them out entirely.
Know It’s Over. The time right after a breakup is especially painful, but it’s critical to face the facts instead of holding on to false hope. You may save yourself some small amount of grief initially if you convince yourself the relationship isn’t necessarily over for good, but in the long run you are only hurting yourself more. It may hurt worse at first, but ultimately you will speed up your emotional recovery significantly if you take a realistic viewpoint on the breakup from the beginning.
Get Support. The end of a relationship does not mean the end of living, and everyone in your life will gladly remind you of that fact if you are willing to turn to them in your time of need. You may feel the need to spend time alone after a hard breakup, isolating yourself from others and grieving alone. While some time to yourself may benefit you, don’t forget that you have people in your life, like your friends and family, who are more than happy to help you get through the tough time.
Develop New Interests. Don’t see a breakup exclusively as an end; it’s also a chance to start anew. Chances are you have extra time for yourself after the end of a relationship, so spend it productively instead of mourning over your loss. Start exercising regularly, read books about a subject that you have always wanted to know more about, or pick up a challenging new, mentally stimulating hobby. Viewing the breakup as a fresh start in life helps to keep your mind focused on the positives of the future rather than the negatives of the past.
Say Goodbye. When a loving relationships comes to an abrupt end, often there is not a chance to end it with a sense of closure. Part of your emotional pain may come from how the relationship ended rather than the simple fact that it ended. Perform a farewell ritual on your own that gives you an opportunity to make peace with the breakup, even if it’s something as simple as lighting a candle and wishing your former significant other the best or throwing out old keepsakes from your relationship.
Don’t worry when you watch the person you thought was “the one” walk through the door. Cry and let yourself cope with your heartbreak. Get yourself together after some time has passed and prepare to meet someone new. You should not dwell in thoughts that your previous partner was perfect. It is easy to make something you no longer have appear glorious in your memory but you have to improve your love life and move on. The most important thing you can do is to make a plan to get over your previous partner.
Find closure by talking with your partner about the reasons for the breakup. Get everything off your chest to your partner that you would ever want to say to him so you have no second guesses about the breakup. In addition, speak with a therapist to overcome your loss and find help to move on.
Cry and express your emotions. Do not escape your problems but deal with them thoroughly. In addition, make a list of the positive and negative aspects of your previous relationship.
Distance yourself from your ex. Even if you want to be friends with your ex, you both need space to cope with the loss of the relationship. Do not call your ex and do not pick up his phone calls until you accept the breakup.
Fill your time with people who you may have not been seeing while you were part of a couple. Spend time with new people to show yourself that you do not need your ex and any mutual friends that you had to maintain a social life. Broaden your social group to remind yourself that other people enjoy your company
Get your body in shape. Start walking more often and join a gym. You should feel better after working out and a new body might help you land a new partner when you are ready.